u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i out mim tonsoeep
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