im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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