Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
