remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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