Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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