hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
