Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
