I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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