They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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