You really coming over, don't trick.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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