I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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