He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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