then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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