I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
