If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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