The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
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you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
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You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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