Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
barbara walters just said penis...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
