NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
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Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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