I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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