we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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