Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
