If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
