I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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