I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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