yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I could fuck to npr.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize