There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
