If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
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I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
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My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
These tits shall not be calmed
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