can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
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Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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