the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
