I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
