Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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