Capitaan dildo arrescate!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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