last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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