call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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