Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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