Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
