Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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