it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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