woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can I color on your dick again?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
