So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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