he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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