i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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