I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
