Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

ok, come over...I have doritos

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(304): View more from West Virginia

remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.

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(614): View more from Ohio

It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

No thats like a top 10

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(519): View more from Ontario

I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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(360): View more from Washington

I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.

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