I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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