I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
