oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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