it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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