I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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