I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
