i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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