Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
