I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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