Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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