I wish my penis had an off switch
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
