there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
