He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
